


He's Pining, But Not for the Fjords

by MoragMacPherson



Category: Bandom, Novakcest, Supernatural
Genre: Beatles - Freeform, Crack, Eric Idle - Freeform, Gen, George Harrison - Freeform, Monty Python, Pop Culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-03
Updated: 2012-03-03
Packaged: 2017-11-01 01:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/350323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoragMacPherson/pseuds/MoragMacPherson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Physics Macaw had been in the scene long enough to know a band-breaker when he saw one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Pining, But Not for the Fjords

**Author's Note:**

  * For [callowyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callowyn/gifts).



> Callowyn is a monster.  All I wanted to do was let her know that the [Physics Macaw](http://physicsmacaw.tumblr.com/) from her [Novakcest 'verse](http://novakcest.tumblr.com/) makes an appearance in my favorite music video from when I was seven years old, "[Got My Mind Set On You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6GdeU0ww4zY)," by George Harrison.  Then she started talking, knowing that I have an oddly encyclopedic knowledge of 20th century pop culture (see end notes for more).  And then this just... happened. 
> 
> ... At least she beta'd it for me.

They called him the Physics Macaw now, an inherited title, apparently more concerned with tradition than taxonomic accuracy.  Jacob and the rest of the MIT scientists were nice enough, for people; maybe a little bit of a letdown compared his old celebrity crowd, but at least when Jacob had emotional breakdowns he could be counted upon to keep the crackers coming.

Well, he _could_ , right up until the second-Jacob-who-smelled-wrong showed up.

Eric Idle had gifted Physics Macaw—then affectionately named “Shut That Bloody Bird Up”—to George Harrison after the latter’s messy divorce, so Physics Macaw knew about lovesick people crying in your feathers long before he met Jacob. But he also knew exactly how humans behaved when their ex reappeared without warning. This interloper might look exactly like Jacob, but Physics Macaw knew a band-breaker when he smelled one, and after five minutes of Jacob and wrong-Jacob staring at each other, he couldn’t keep his beak shut any longer.

_You might not feel it now_  
 _When the pain cuts through_  
 _You’re going to know and how_

The impostor shook himself. “Is that bird…singing?”

“Uh. He does that.”  Jacob tried to placate Physics Macaw with a cracker, his hand shaking.  Tasty, but Physics Macaw’s sage musical advice would not be drowned out by Club crackers.  Jacob never had learned to respect his elders.  Physics Macaw tucked the whole thing down into his gizzard and got back to making his point.

_I’ve got a word or two_  
 _To say about the things that you do_

Jacob-that-smelled-wrong blinked.  “Is that bird singing Beatles songs?”

“Yes.”  The real Jacob glared at the bird. Physics Macaw wasn’t intimidated. He’d almost been on Monty Python’s Flying Circus, for fuck’s sake, and if the Standards people hadn’t been on set that day John Cleese would have made Physics Macaw a genuine ex-parrot.  But here it was, thirty years later, and Physics Macaw was still here—looking much better for his age than Mr. Cleese, if he had to say so himself.  Jacob Glaser didn’t scare him in the least.

“Sounds more like Yoko sings the Beatles,” Jacob muttered, and that just wasn’t fair. There was only one person allowed to call Physics Macaw ‘Yoko,’ and Jacob had spent a very long night, ages ago, explaining why George would never come back to call him that again. 

_You know I feel a pain_  
 _I’m tired of playing games with you_

“I don’t recognize that one,” said the Jacob-that-smelled-wrong, and if he’d seemed like an ignorant yokel before, well…

“C’mon, Jimmy, I thought you liked solo work,” said Jacob, in a strange tone that Physics Macaw didn’t understand. He produced another cracker and gave the bird his full attention, feeding him the treat and stroking his crest, and that was better; that was doing it right.  “ _Cloud Nine_ was the last album George Harrison recorded before he donated our friend here to MIT.  But he had his moment in the sun, didn’t you.”  Jacob turned.  “Remember the video for _Got My Mind Set On You_ that was on MTV all the time when we were kids?”

“You mean the one with the moose head that moved and all the swords and—he’s _that_ bird?”  Jimmy didn’t seem to know what to do with his face. “You have a Beatle’s bird?”

Jacob grinned.  “Not just a Beatle’s bird.”  Physics Macaw knew a cue when he heard one.

_I cut down trees. I skip and jump._  
 _I like to press wild flowers._  
 _I put on women’s clothing_  
 _And hang around in bars._

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

“He knows The Lumberjack Song back to front,” said Jacob. Physics Macaw continued to preen.  “According to department legend, back when George’s wife left him for Eric Clapton, Eric Idle apparently thought it would be funny as hell to give George a pet to keep him company.  He neglected to mention that he’d been trying to get rid of the loudmouth for almost six years by then.” Physics Macaw chirred indignantly, but Jacob ignored him. “Mr. Harrison was a more patient kind of guy and put up with him for almost twenty years before he chewed up the neck of one Les Paul too many. Then he pawned mini-Yoko off on us.”

Not only had Jacob been warned about the Yoko thing, but he was fool enough to reach into the cage right after saying it again.  “Ow!” yelped Jacob, pulling back his bleeding fingers.  Unrepentant, Physics Macaw hopped up to the central bar and started creeling.

_Cheeky bitch._  
 _Number nine, number nine, number nine…_

Jimmy looked horrified.  ‘Will he just keep on…”

Jacob glared at them both, wrapping a paper towel around his bitten finger.  “Now that I’ve got him started: yeah, he’ll keep going all day if he thinks it will get to you.  And it always gets to you in the end. He’s convinced half the department that Paul really _is_ dead.”

The expression that passed over Jimmy’s face rivaled Jacob on his worst benders.

The way Jacob touched him, just a light grip on the shoulder, looked more comfortable and less hesitant than the bird had ever seen Jacob touch another person.  “Why are you here, Jimmy?”

Jimmy let out a laugh—not a real one, Physics Macaw could always tell—and rubbed his eyes. “Can we not…do this in front of the singing bird?”

“Yeah,” Jacob said instantly, sealing the fate of his remaining fingers as soon as he got close again. “Yeah, sure, I’ve got an office. I mean it’s about the size of a broom closet but uh, we can go there.”

And then the twin humans left him alone, marching together out the heavy latched doors.  Out of spite, Physics Macaw kept repeating ‘number nine’ until he knew they were gone.  There was something about the way they’d moved that spoke of endings: the end of crackers, of chocolate fountain baths, of surprise guest spots on the radio show.

Too bad.  He’d had many owners in his long life, but only a few he considered truly special.  Most humans came and went, fell in or out of style almost as fast as their clothes or their music.  Hardly any of them could ever be as classically cool as Physics Macaw (well, except for maybe David Bowie). Most spent their lives far too worried about the opinions of their flocks.  Jacob had always felt different—but what did that matter?  He ruffled his feathers and groomed at an itch under his wing that wasn’t there.  All things, it seemed, must pass.

_Stick around, and it may show,_  
 _But I don’t know, I don’t know._

**Author's Note:**

> Notes Regarding Real Persons Both Living and Deceased: This is a work of fiction, based on a number of things that coincidentally happen to be true. George Harrison's wife did leave him and later marry Eric Clapton. Clapton wrote "Layla" for her; George may or may not have been faithful himself; oddly enough, Clapton and George remained friends for the rest of George's life. George was also great friends with the members of Monty Python (he financed _The Life of Brian_ when no one else would.) The Parrot sketch was filmed in 1969; I do not believe any real parrots, cockatoos, or macaws were on set for Eric Idle to take home, but who knows. Eric Idle did, however, visit George in 1975, a year or so after the divorce, and helped make a video for George's song "Crackerbox Palace". As to whether any avian gifts were really exchanged, I have no idea. As to whether or not Paul McCartney died in a car crash in 1967 and was replaced by a look-alike named Billy Shears shortly before the release of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," that remains a [subject of some debate](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_is_dead): my mother insists it's true. 
> 
> The lyrics quoted come from the following songs, in order of appearance: _Savoy Truffle_ (Harrison, The Beatles, The White Album), _Think For Yourself_ (Harrison, The Beatles, Help!), _Fish on the Sand_ (George Harrison, Cloud Nine), The Lumberjack Song (Terry Jones, Michael Palin, and Fred Tomlinson, Monty Python's Flying Circus), Revolution 9 (Lennon-McCartney [generally attributed to Lennon, Harrison, and Ono], The Beatles, The White Album), and _Something_ (Harrison, The Beatles, Abbey Road). _Got My Mind Set On You_ was recorded by George Harrison in 1987 for the record "Cloud Nine," but was originally written by Rudy Clark and performed by James Ray in 1962.


End file.
